I Have Been Struggling Throughout My Entire Career. Can Professionals In Their 30s And Older Give Examples Of What Happens to Poor Performers And Those Incapable Of Professional Growth In Their Experience?

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I hold a degree and have sustained a 10+ year long career in a somewhat technical field (not CS). It isn't that relevant which one.

I have recently turned 42 and was let go from my job last autumn due to poor performance. Money is not a pressing issue yet, so I would like to reflect on my career situation at this point.

Looking back, my entire career history has been a constant struggle to keep up. Where most of my peers would pass assignments with flying colours ahead of schedule, I would struggle immensely to deliver something late and of lesser quality. It got to a point where I was expending half the efforts on doing the work, and the other half on worrying how I am underperforming.

I think my key problem is the fact that it takes me 3 times longer than normal to:

  • process and internalize new information;

  • distinguish between what is actually important and what isn't;

  • perform the tasks needed to complete the work.

Issue with the last point also means I have to double check my work all the time, as it always has errors on my first try. Furthermore, it also takes me longer to grasp topics during meetings and discussions, which is why I was frequently out of the loop of most work related conversations.

When I was younger, I used to cope with my shortcomings by working longer hours. Being under pressure also helped. However, both of these were not sustainable ways of working.

It's worth addimg, there is this internal resistance within me when it comes to learning new work related material or doing any work at all. I desperately do not want to litter my brain with anything related to my job. And I equally do not want to do any more work unless I absolutely have to, knowing that what I will produce will be of lesser quality, delivered late, in need of rework, and not worth it.

Lookimg back even further, thinking has never been my strong suite and, overall, I am one of those people that simply detests learning. This was always a problem for me at school, at uni, and now in the workplace. Ignoring this fact is starting to affect my financial well being and career prospects.

My question is: Have you known anyone at work (in an office job) who had similar struggles and what happened to them in the end? Did they pick up a trade or something?

Just to clarify:

  • I don't have ADHD
  • I don't have imposter symdrome
  • I am not depressed
  • I don't need further training
  • I am not looking for moral support.

Thanks.